Schoffner

What do you do when you're feeling stuck?

That's the question posed over a week ago by a LinkedIn group member who recently left her post after 15 years in the non-profit arena. Before that she was a successful business owner. While she says her sense of humor is intact, she admits that she's turned "procrastination and lack of motivation into something of an art form." She asked for input on getting unstuck and I'm sharing a few of the comments her post received on the LinkedIn site of the National Association of Women Business Owners (NAWBO).

"Being stuck is a state of mind, and sadly, it reflects a focus on the self," writes Stefany Almaden, president/CEO of The Almaden Group, Inc. "The best cure for being stuck is to look around, enjoy what you have, and think about how you can make a difference in someone else's life. Instant joy and satisfaction follow." She says work on this every day and you'll pull yourself together. One day you'll even wonder why someone would think they could be "stuck in life."

Nannette Rundle Carroll, author of The Communication Problem Solver, also suggests doing something for someone else, particularly someone you think might be stuck or down. "It gets us out of ourselves and being productive and compassionate is a great cure for the blues or being stuck.

Nuggets for me: The only person who can get me unstuck is me; It's my mental state that needs attention. It's an ongoing daily practice to stay off the pity pot, and focusing on the needs of others helps to reframe my thinking and find a fresh perspective.

Judith Wentzel, owner of EFT Coaching & Consulting LLC, uses and teaches EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) to remove blocks. Judy says to look at a goal or something that's important to you, find out what's sabotaging or holding you back from achieving it, and then get rid of it. It's the negative emotions (frustration, sadness, feelings of being alone, etc.) that perpetuate what's blocking us. "Once you identify the emotions undermining your success to move forward, you can begin resolving them."  

Sounds simple enough when the "stuck" things are little mental obstacles to overcome, but how about identifying and removing major emotional blocks? One may need ongoing coaching, years of therapy, or a whole lot more (including more non-traditional techniques [How about past life regression?]) to get to the root of the issues that lock you in serious "stuckness."

If I'm slightly stuck (for me that's writing copy that's not flowing the way I would like), I might close my eyes, put a smile on my face and spend 40 seconds taking a few deep breaths. Then I'll rub my hands together (I'm still smiling), face the computer screen and look for ways to change the problematic sections of copy. I may even get out of my chair and office, go consume a piece for fruit, and try to empty my mind by staring at the electric kettle while it warms water for my next cup of tea. Sometimes I'll do yoga stretches, stand up and swing my arms side-to-side to shake up my body and brain, or go outside for a quick walk that focuses on hearing the birds or looking for deer antlers in the woods (if it's the right time of year).

But when I'm deeply stuck I struggle. I might get together (face-to-face, on the phone and sometimes even email) with someone who'll listen and might point out what I'm missing. And sometimes "telling it" reveals what's needed next; the words come out of my own mouth or are typed by me. I recently was given the image of carrying around a backpack full of angst, fears, pains and frustrations. It was up to me: I could get rid of them once and for all, or I could continue to walk around with the weight of the world on my shoulders. I buried it. Then I smiled for days and days. Now, whenever I feel that weight again, I acknowledge it. Then I mentally deposit anything "new" that's giving me mental grief into that backpack. And finally, I picture my burying it again. I dig the whole a little deeper each time. One of these days it will decompose.

That's my answer to what I do when I'm really feeling stuck. Which brings me to another question: What are you carrying around in your backpack?

What's your bad business habit?

You may recall my writing (October 6) about one of my bad business habits: multitasking. To improve my focus, I turned off the distracting "ping" that alerts me that a new email has just arrived. It's been 42 days, and I still have it off. Yes, it's helped me avoid interruptions, and I'm showing small improvements in keeping myself on one project at a time.

I heard years ago that it took 12 days to create a new habit, and I thought that if something could be done in less than two weeks, maybe there was a chance for me to correct some behaviors I didn't care for in myself. Well, this morning I read a new time line: 30 to 60 days for a new habit. I prefer to think in baby steps, a day at a time, but I know I have a long way to go (well beyond 60 days) to break out of my years of multitasking madness.

That two-month timeframe came from Karen Leland's blog on Web Worker Daily: Teach an Old Dog New Tricks: How to Break Bad Work Habits. Her bad habit: impatience. (I can identify with that since I sometimes jump to another project if I'm not coming up with the creativity and flow that I'm looking for when I'm working. I always think I'll "clear my mind" and all will be well when I pick it up again and view the project with fresh eyes and a recharged brain.

Karen's simple formula for getting started is what I'm actually doing with multitasking:

Step 1 - Call out the bad habit and identify its negative consequences. When you spell out the crazy-making, frustration or lack of productivity caused by your bad habit, you feel pretty wimpy about continuing it. "Naming the habit" sounds like it should be easy, but creating a true awareness and verbalizing it may not be that simple. Sometimes it can be uncomfortable to be honest about where there's "room for self-improvement." For some, we're looking at ourselves from a new perspective, and we may prefer to just ignore what we see.

Step 2 - Create alternative actions. We can't just think "I gotta change." We need to identify solid action steps to take toward that change...and then take them. That's building a new pathway in the brain that over time will become stronger than your known mode of operation. It's not too late to form new neural connections, folks; it just takes a while to rewire ourselves. And, as I well know, nothing will change if we don't want things to be different and choose to act.

Who is flying the plane?

I've been reading Malcom Gladwell's The Outliers: The Story of Success. It focuses on factors beyond intelligence and ambition in the lives of people whose achievements fall outside normal experiences. Gladwell makes a case for the impact of generation, family, culture, class—even the year you were born—on your human potential. 

The chapter I can't stop thinking about is "The Ethnic Theory of Plane Crashes." It details how crashes "are much more likely to be the result of an accumulation of minor difficulties and seemingly trivial malfunctions" than something like a rudder snapping off in midair. Yes, weather, minor technical problems, the stress of delayed flights and fuel-exhausting holding patterns, etc. can be contributors. But Gladwell says the typical accident involves seven consecutive human errors, one made on top of another that combine for catastrophe. 

In 52 percent of crashes, the pilot had been awake for 12 hours or more at the time of the crash, and in 44 percent of disasters the pilot and co-pilot hadn't flown together before. Then Gladwell provides a ton of fascinating supportive information (including conversations between pilots, co-pilots and air traffic controllers) and concludes: "Planes are safer when the least experienced (the co-pilot) is flying, because it means the second pilot (the captain) is NOT going to be afraid to speak up" to provide course corrections and other input. One person is supposed to be checking the other, and they're to be working cooperatively.

So crashes in commercial airlines have been far more likely to happen when the captain is IN the "flying seat," writes Gladwell. And when pilots and co-pilots come from a culture where respect for one's superior reigns strong, airline disasters had resulted because of the lack of clear and direct communication between the two and with air traffic controllers. A first officer can be more hesitant to "correct" his superior officer. But a captain who is not at the controls isn't concerned about being polite and using mitigating language to hint that a correction needs to happen. He "commands" and the first officer doing the flying listens and obeys. 

That got me thinking. It's not one thing that usually pushes us over the edge on any business day, but an accumulation of lots of little things. And so I ask myself:  Am I truly awake and watchful for "the accumulation of minor difficulties and seemingly trivial malfunctions" in my business, or am I oblivious?

I try to focus on "must do" priorities, the big stuff, the writing projects on my desk that take precedent because of their deadlines and importance. The "little" things along the way that I need to address get put aside for later action, sometime when I'm tired and I can be on autopilot. Well, autopilot can malfunction. Maybe we shouldn't sweat the small stuff, but don't miss dealing with it either. It can build into a disaster. 

Plus, as a sole proprietor, I'm asking, Can I be the pilot...and the copilot? Doubt it. So do I have the right checks and balances in place to keep my craft on course...or able to make course corrections as needed? After 30 years I'd hope so, but the map of the world and business keep changing.  But If you have experienced and trusted employees, do you let them play the co-pilot role and sometimes fly the plane? Like the pilots who are supposed to be working cooperatively, can they be honest and direct or do they have to watch their verbiage because of your authority or attitude? Gladwell is always good for the getting people to look at life a little differently.

Will You Join Me in Multitaskers Anonymous?

I'm taking the pledge.  For such reasons as needing to calm myself, restore focus and have fewer stacks of paper at my fingertips, I'm now trying to do just one thing at a time. After years of believing I could only accomplish all my goals and responsibilities by multitasking, I think it probably would be easier to have my tonsils removed through one of my big toe nails than to put the kibosh on managing multiple priorities in rapid-fire succession or simultaneously.

In the past I've felt pretty good about all I could get done in a day, but maybe my satisfaction with "overachieving" has too many nasty side effects.  For several years researchers have told the consequences of multitasking: 

• we're really not as efficient as we think (I never believed that)
• the chances of retaining information drops more rapidly when we aren't wholly focused on one item at a time (that might be possible, might not)
• by perpetuating a lack of ability to focus we're shortening our memories (oh, please, let that not be true)
• multitasking could be a leading cause of stress, depression and even early memory loss (okay, I get it; I need to stop multitasking)

I can't go cold turkey. But I'm taking baby steps. So far I have three to embrace.

* I decided to ignore the "ping" telling me that yet another email has arrived. I'm not good at this, so I finally turned off the "ping." New plan: I'm going to try to deal with emails in the first hour of the morning, then only look at them when I switch projects, before I stop for lunch or late in the day when my mind needs a little time-out. 

•  When random things I need to do pop into my head while I'm working at my desk, I frequently jump up, take a little break and do them so I won't forget. Talk about a productivity killer. I've now devoted the blue "stickie" (a Post-it note on my Mac) to "totally unrelated work needs to remember" and I type thoughts there as my brain shouts them out. The green "Stickie" gets "totally unrelated home needs to remember."  Both can be dealt with at the end of the day. 

•  Since overlapping deadlines can drive me to multitasking madness, I'm taking a good look at projects to be sure that my clients and I are setting realistic expectations and deadlines. Will clients think I'm extraordinary—the only person they'll ever turn to again for services—if I get a project done in two days when they don't need it until next a week? Of course I want to believe that!  Won't they be pleased and see my commitment to customer service when I drop everything to make them the center of my universe and deliver what's needed without delay? Sure, Pam, they'll NEVER forget that! 

In many cases, I'm sure that I'm the problem, NOT the client's needs. But when they suggested a tough turn around time, I'm going to try saying, "That's not going to work for me, but I could get it to you on (date)." Many times in my 30 years I've rushed to do a project that was needed right now, only to have my draft sit for a month or two because the company got busy taking good care of its customers and put their own needs on hold.

I admit I get an incredible rush from getting though a daily to-do list while also handling more than a handful of unexpected issues. That's a difficult high to give up. But I'll work on it: "Hi, I'm Pam, and I want to quietly focus on one thing at a time so that everyone gets my best from me...and I get to keep my memory."

“Words have always been changed by people; and people have always been changed by words.”

I've frequently turned to my books of quotations when I needed inspiration for a headline, speech, promotional piece or even filler for a newsletter.  I'd find a nugget that would resonate, smile at the perfect wording, and use it for my client. But I never thought of putting a plethora of those powerful statements on three-by-five cards to paper my walls, or posting one of them in my office in hopes that it might provide a teachable moment for someone who walked into my workplace. But Dr. Mardy Grothe has me thinking today. That headline is a Grothe original.

Grothe started his quotation journey in college (thanks to Thoreau's Walden), covering his apartment's walls in the inspirational wordings that he'd discover daily. Want to change your life or help someone change theirs? Post some thought-provoking quotes in your business. You'll become the company's "philosophical officer," says Grothe, who's billed as America's most popular quotation anthologist. The psychologist turned business consultant and platform speaker has parlayed his passion for quotes into five books for language lovers (written within one decade!): Ifferisms, Oxymoronica, I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like, Viva la Repartee, and Never Let a Fool Kiss You or a Kiss Fool You. He shared tidbits from those books and kept his audience well-entertained on September 15 at the Central Library in Des Moines.

Sixty-seven-year-old Grothe admits he'd frequently use a thought-provoking quote as a response to a patient in his clinical practice in Boston. Does he "talk in quotations" in conversations to family members? Nope, he says, but Grothe's heard that a marriage has been saved by his "Quotes of the Week" newsletter. The subscriber now makes his wife breakfast and reads her Grothe's email epistle every Sunday.

One couple attending the Des Moines presentation read Grothe's books to each other, and Grothe says that reading to your partner is an excellent relationship-builder for couples. Hmm. I purchased his "Viva la Repartee: Clever Comebacks and Witty Retorts from History's Great Wits and Wordsmiths."  Start expecting the Schoffners to be sharing better wisecracks and off-the-cuff comments in the weeks ahead.

Dr. Mardy Grothe

Deb, Deepak, Desmond and the Dalai Lama

The "Deb" among the spiritual world leaders in the headline is writer Debra Landwehr Engle, a wonderful friend and author whose way with words is delicate, dazzling and deep. I just came from a book signing/reading at Beaverdale Books featuring Deb and her essay, "The Land," which is part of The Art of Living: A Practical Guide to Being Alive. While the book was released in Spain in November, this beautiful collection of essays focused on our shared humanity and interrelationships is new to the U.S. The other "D" folks in the headline?  Their written inspirations for thought and action are included too.

Profits from the book go to Green Cross International, a Switzerland-based NGO founded by Mikhail Gorbachev, whose essay is in the same section at Deb's: Messages from Mother Earth. Green Cross is dedicated to sustainable development and the transformation of consciousness. 

Deb wrote about feeling the rich connection to the land in Iowa and living in Madison County, which she calls "sacred ground, a land of enchantment, an answer to prayer." It's a tribute to how Iowans are nourished not just by the food that is produced here, but by the beauty—the green, the aliveness—that surrounds us. Deb's divinely crafted message reveals how love lives in Madison County far beyond the covered bridges. 

I'd sit down and read every thought-provoking entry in the book right now, but it's a gorgeous afternoon in Iowa, and I'm called to get outside with the green and be nurtured. Digging in the ground is my choice right now for enjoying the art of living.

I've been waiting...

for a recording device about the size of a dot band-aid that I can stick to my index finger at night. Then when I wake at 3 a.m. and mentally compose strategic emails, creative approaches or to-do lists, I can simply pull my hand from under my pillow and softly talk to "the dot." No major movement toward the bedside table; no light going on. The sleeping giant beside me could slumber on. The scenario would be even better if I could attach "the dot" to a USB port the next morning and see my words on the computer screen.

When I saw Chris Brogan's blog Monday a.m., I started thinking that my dream device will soon shoot from the R&D pipeline. He shared video of the Livescribe 1 GB Pulse Smartpen ($149.95) that records and links audio to what you put on paper. The pen has a built in mic, an infrared camera at the tip that tracks all you write and draw, a computer inside and a built-in speaker or headset to listen to what's recorded. Special notebooks (4-pak for $19.95) are required; just tap the pen to the record button printed on the page to get started. If you miss something, tap on your notes or drawings with the tip of the Pulse SmartPen and hear what was said while you were busy writing. Then put the pen in a special USB charging cradle and download your notes and audio to your PC or MAC. You can store notes, search by keyword, send your scribblings to others or post them to a public Livescribe community.

So if you don't always feel like lugging a laptop around, this option is worth exploring. Supposedly it will hold 100 hours of audio (which will vary with the audio quality setting). Though the Pulse SmartPen looks pretty inviting, I still have my heart set on being the first on my block to have a dream dot.

What can sharing on social media cost you?

Have you tried to attract business by using social media to tell about a successful project you completed for a noteworthy client? A LinkedIn user reported that doing so actually armed a competitor with a source of leads. And the competitor began targeting his clients. He asked if others found social media marketing to be a double-edged sword? My thought: Time to refine that social media strategy!

Lee Witcher of Database Marketing Solutions in Oklahoma City, reminded LinkedIn Answers readers that "social media marketing is about building trust with your target market and positioning yourself as an authority. Direct selling in the social space tends to be ineffective. People are looking for information and/or connection there...Companies are increasingly using social media to build communities of devoted followers...Once they have been sold on you, people will seek out your products, services, and recommendations. In this sense, social media marketing is a longer term lead generation process."

Mike Volpe, vp of inbound marketing at HubSpot, said social media is one of this company's top five sources of leads and sales. He answered: "I don't think what your competitors are doing will be effective. The last person they should want to call is one of your super happy case studies! Also, while they are cold calling your happiest customers, other people (like me maybe) see your case studies and then want to call you! The right way to do lead generation in social media is by answering questions and posting useful information. This builds authority and makes people curious about what you do, and makes it more likely they will read some of your resources (blog, videos, etc).

Volpe gave four basic steps for implementing this form of inbound marketing:
1) Produce useful content (blog articles, videos, webinars)
2) Optimize that content for search engines
3) Promote that content by using social media (Volpe gave links to his company's Web resources and a free July 9 Webinar, as well as his Twitter moniker)

4) Convert using offers, calls to action and landing pages 

Volpe: "The key step for lead generation is to use the links you leave within social media to start your prospects down a path to get to know you better. You should have some great content, but also calls to action next to that content for them to fill out a form or subscribe to your list. Over time as the relationship progresses you can call them and ask them how you can help, or send them some product info."

And like any business relationship, the real sharing begins in "private" when you feel there's a connection and all parties involved want to move forward to develop something of value together. 

Your social media strategy is fluid, something to be revisited and continually refined to avoid getting stabbed by a misstep of sharing too much. The good news: course corrections can be made quickly. Social media opens doors, but you can't win the "sell" without proving your worth.

Connecting with WBO Bloggers

Why are women business owners adding blogging to their workloads? Well, we're always looking for ways to connect with people. Here are three blogging WBOs who are members of the Central Iowa Chapter of the National Association of Women Business Owners (NAWBO-CI) and insights on how they use blogging to benefit their businesses and lives.

Kathy Towner of Win Communications in Des Moines was excited to see me blogging, something she's been doing since late in 2005. She's inspired to add links on her Web site to the blogs of other women business owners. So don't be shy about coming forward; comment here to promote your blog or post links to the WBO blogs you read. We can share a lot of "been there, done that" business knowledge this way. 

Kathy started blogging to establish herself as an expert in Internet marketing and permission-based e-mail publishing. One impressive result of her efforts: Kathy has improved her search results on Google. Her blog is purely professional and serves as a resource center for tips and ideas on e-mail marketing programs. When she's making a presentation to get new business, Kathy frequently responds to potential customer questions by simply pulling up her blog and showing them the answers. She lets her work (not just her verbal sell strategies) speak to the depth of her knowledge. And when someone e-mails her a question, she can frequently save the time it takes to craft a meaningful response by simply referring them to a specific blog post. Kathy's favorite recent post is a strategy for social media marketing.  

 When Cindy Helgason, owner of ten-year-old Soapourri Natural Bath & Body, LLC, isn't handcrafting glycerin soaps, her hands might be found on the keyboard. Cindy has been blogging for two years and says it's a "good way to communicate with my customers and others about my products, my life, my city and more." She's run contests and polls on her blog. 

Last November 17 she got tired of fearful media reports and depressing conversations about the economy. So Cindy wrote a "good news" blog, asking readers to post something positive going on in their lives. She rewarded them with a low priced "economic stimulus/good news soap" in a sugar and spice fragrance. She's posted a few times about personalized soaps she's made (one with a picture of five hearts, each topped with "I love you" in a different language). A picture was worth a thousand words: that post resulted in a lot of orders from people who came across her blog post while searching for personalized soaps. 

 Sandy Renshaw, Purple Wren, started blogging in mid-2006 after attending a blogging conference. Her Web site and static pages grew from her blog. She uses blogging to express herself and finds that she's not only expanding her thinking, but her world. Sandy's attended SOBCon (Successful and Outstanding Bloggers Conference -- tagline: Biz School for Bloggers) to learn as well as meet bloggers in person. Sandy blogged on arounddesmoines.com and then purchased the site. She's collaborated on two books with other bloggers and has also designed book covers, logos, and Powerpoint presentations for other bloggers. 

Sandy, who also does live blogs from local events, is big on using visuals and has urged me to add more photos (so I did and maybe one of these days you'll find videos -- talk about a demanding learning curve). Her Wordless Wednesday posts are photos she finds to share. One of her favorite posts--with words--is about creating a treasure map of your goals. 

Living "Little" on LinkedIn

I always think I'm the last one on earth to embrace new technology, but this week an internal software designer asked me what a Tweet was, so there are still people out there who might benefit from learning my meager steps into the world of social networking media. I'm not Tweeting (yet), but here's my experience to date on LinkedIn. 

A couple of years ago I was invited to connect on LinkedIn by Julie Gammack, a Washington D.C. area business coach. Today, I'm still just scratching the LinkedIn surface. Julie and I were friends from her Des Moines days and spent many an afternoon together in a small writing group. She billed LinkedIn as "Facebook for professionals." I wasn't on Facebook (still am not). LinkedIn has been around since 2003, and today someone joins this online networking community about every second. There are some 40 million members representing 170 industries in over 200 countries/territories around the world.

LinkedIn says it exists to "connect the world's professionals to accelerate their success" and to help us "make better use of our professional networks and help the people we trust in return." And I love these words from the short intro video: "It's about helping YOU be more productive" by showing you who knows whom to create a visible path for reaching people who are potential clients, suppliers or subject experts. I'm not more productive yet, but I haven't exactly chosen to be joined at the hip to LinkedIn. 

I didn't upload my address book. I started small by inviting some contacts to connect with me (just to see what happened). Some folks declined. LinkedIn tells me that my 26 connections now connect me with more than 1,300 people. Hmm, time to expand the holiday card list. I can visit the profiles of each of my connections and access the names and companies/organizations of their connections. I can see the names of our shared connections.

So far I've set up my profile, which tells my education and my current experience, honors, group interests, etc., and links to my web site and this blog. Other than a photo, I haven't posted personal information (address, birthday, phone, etc.) and don't see a reason to. I have two recommendations from women business owners I have worked with (though my profile says there's one recommendation -- a system-wide problem that software folks are working on it, I hear) and I've given one recommendation, with others to follow now that I've figured out how to do that. Judging by the number of FAQs in the customer service area, I'd say there are a lot of us trying to navigate little LinkedIn challenges. 

I can join groups, create my own group and follow discussions in areas of professional interest. I can post questions and get expert answers (a great option when one is writing an article/brochure and wants to find someone to quote on a highly specific subject), and I can search past questions and answers. Folks, I have done none of this. I accept responsibility for not living large on LinkedIn. 

One of the hardest things to embrace about all the new "opportunities" in social media is that every hour I add to sitting at the computer is an hour I'm not face to face with another human being. I admit I've had wonderful sharing via email (researching an article on biking in Connecticut a couple of years ago connected me with a retired gentleman in that state who I still would love to meet...and I don't even bike). But I will continue to put the highest value on face-to-face networking, getting to know new people and connecting with those I care about. I'm not sure how much more productive all this online stuff will make me, but I won't know unless I jump in and explore. I'll keep you posted on my learning and results.

It's about time for another round of invitations to see if some of you want to give this a whirl. I'd love to know if this has been a business-building tool and pathway to productivity for you. At any rate, the LinkedIn updates I get about the professional people in my network are providing little snippets I might not otherwise know (nothing juicy, but perhaps they're conversation starters...as if I ever lacked for words). 

By the way: In December, Julie Gammack sent me an invitation to view her Facebook page where she can post pictures, videos and events. I'm not ready for that yet. Baby steps.